Days Like These

Monday 8 September 2014

Some days, more so than others, can be really trying can't they?  Today seems to be one of those days for me.  This weekend, I hosted a linen party at my house - sort of like a Tupperware party, but with linen (obviously).  I invited around ten people, of which only two came - my mum and my brother's lovely girlfriend.  But that's okay - I wasn't expecting a huge turnout, and people have lives, so no biggie.  It turned out to be a nice afternoon with our small group, and the products were lovely and luxurious.

I had a horrendous headache before it even started, so I was struggling.  But I put on a brave face and enjoyed the time.  I was really looking forward to having my brother, his girlfriend and my nephew over for dinner afterwards, as it's not that often I get to spend much time with them.  But of course a savage migraine hit, didn't it?  I could feel it coming on all day, and then bang - the nausea set in, and my head felt as though it was going to explode.  I could feel that I needed to be sick, and I was just trying to pretend it wasn't there.  Of course we had to cancel dinner, and I spent the rest of the evening on the bathroom floor.

I know it may be a little hard to understand for some people, why something like that would be so upsetting to me.  I mean, everyone gets sick right?  And it's family, so they understand of course.  But to me, this is an ongoing cause of disappointment in my life, and every time it happens, I feel genuinely upset for days afterwards.

Today I'm at work (writing this on my lunch break, don't worry!), and I'm struggling to keep a smile on my face.  For me, it's obviously more than just the physical effects - the chronic pain and the aftermath of something like a migraine, where I feel sick and exhausted for days after.  It's my emotional issues that are triggered also.  I get upset over something that in the scheme of things may be small, but for me it's a daily battle - it doesn't just happen once, it's in my face every day.  And something like this just reminds me of it in a big way.

It's one disappointment after another.  It's one plan after another that has to be cancelled.  It's having to say no to things, that if it weren't for my health, I would love to do.  It's saying "good thanks", when someone asks me how I am, when really I just want to burst into tears.

There isn't a profound point to this post.  But it occurred to me that there are plenty of others out there feeling the same way, at this same moment.  So why not share, and in turn, maybe someone else may take comfort in knowing they aren't alone.

Here's hoping tomorrow will be a better day!

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  1. I know the feeling, we all go through these slumps but things will get better! I hope that the margarine has gone away and you feel a little better now. Message me if you ever need a talk or a retail therapy hehe :)
    Yours Truly, NY

  2. good to let it out Steph if you have to. and keep positive at every tiny thing in a day, and there are many. you can start to get through anything, even with intense pain.

    stay positive, and take care.



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