Do you ever just feel genuinely let down by your body? I do!
There are so many things I would love to achieve in my life. So many things I'd like to do, or be, or see. But most of the time, my body isn't on board. This is frustrating!
In truth, I feel a lot of guilt writing a post like this, as it is absolutely self indulgent and there are so many others who are far worse off than I am in life. But having said that, this is the only real, true outlet I have where I can vent to the world. We all need that now and again, right?
I'm currently in the midst of an Endometriosis flare, which is bringing a lot of frustration to the forefront. I'm trying a new medication which is making me feel constantly nauseated and disgusting in addition to the pain. And of course my head hasn't eased up either, with migraine after migraine, day in and day out.
When I get like this, I tend to dwell on all the things I desperately want to do - whether it be something as minor as getting up to date with the housework, or something big like travelling. My mind starts to spiral and become overwhelmed with unwanted, negative thoughts.
I don't like myself when I'm like this.
I don't want to be that negative person, always complaining or moping about. I want to be happy and bubbly & excited about life.
Most days, I succeed at painting on a smile and laughing through the pain. But some days, I just don't have the energy. Today is one of those days.
So, I'm allowing myself to frown today. Just for a little while. I don't feel guilty for it and I won't be apologising for my mood.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that when your body betrays you, you're allowed to be pissed off! You're allowed to be sad sometimes and it's perfectly okay!
Sometimes people say "keep smiling!" in that annoying, chirpy tone (you know the one), and I feel like punching them in the face! Okay, maybe that's a bit extreme, but it's true!
The point of this post? In truth, there isn't really one. I just needed to vent to the big wide world for a while.
But if you're also having one of those days and you're feeling let down, or sad, or frustrated by things you can't control - just remember that it's okay to frown, or cry, or scream! You're not alone and this too shall eventually pass.
Hugs! xo