tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1992348184589936427.post4821547301043008808..comments2024-03-22T16:40:40.533+11:00Comments on Stephanie Rhapsody: Self Esteem, Insecurities, Anxiety and DepressionStephhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13568028639195980141noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1992348184589936427.post-34615195013915384682013-12-26T15:24:47.068+11:002013-12-26T15:24:47.068+11:00You are extremely fortunate never to have been bul...You are extremely fortunate never to have been bullied and never to have been called “ugly” or “plain”, it (the bullying) happened to me on an almost daily basis for 4 years at high school. I was targeted by boys for being quiet and smart, as well as being called ugly and not wearing the ‘right’ clothes’. I was suicidal at 15 partly because of this. Guys were not interested in me until I went to uni. Even as a adult there’s been incidents of bullying at work (by females this time) that have dragged me down again, as well as insults to my looks (being called ‘plain’, endless rude comments of ‘Are you pregnant’ (I am not obese but have a stomach), a woman suggesting I join Weight Watchers and another woman having a go at my fine hair, which I try and present as well as I can, saying ‘she could see my scalp’). <br /><br />This has impacted me to such an effect that I can barely look at myself at the mirror, because I honestly see a fat, grotesque monster. I don’t see myself as pretty as all, just plain and dumpy. Even when I do my best to fix my hair and makeup, I still look hideous in photos. There is not a single body part I like about myself. Huge, fat, round face. Crooked, bumpy nose. Teeth too big for mouth. Dull-coloured eyes. Limp, fine dull-coloured hair. Fat, sagging body. And so on....<br /><br />Complements from my husband and on Facebook don’t reassure me because, well, he’s my husband, and most of the people who complement my looks on Facebook aren’t my friends and family who know me in person, it’s overseas friends who have never met or seen me in person. One of the reasons why I will never have children is that I would never, ever want them, or any other young person, to go through what I’ve been through in regards to bullying. Especially now with the advances in technology.<br /><br />This ties in with your recent article in plastic surgery. If I had the money, I would definitely go for it, despite my husband insisting that I don’t need it. As long as it isn’t excessive, I don’t have a problem with ‘natural’ looking cosmetic surgery. I have consulted psychologists, psychiatrists and hypnotherapists during the last 10 years and even after all this I still cannot ‘love’ myself. For some people, cosmetic surgery is the way to go for make themselves heal and feel more physically attractive. They’re not hurting anyone, so if they want to do it, then why not?<br /><br />I do feel guilty and probably sound so selfish because I am not disfigured or physically impaired in any way, and should be grateful for that. But for those who haven’t been through prolonged, daily bullying, you need to understand that it can literally brainwash you and completely rewire one’s way of thinking. Before the bullying I used to think I was quite pretty, but years of hurtful comments have taken their toll. I try every day to tell myself I’m not ugly, but it’s easier said than done.<br /><br />Stephanie, you are beautiful and I would love to look like you. You have beautiful long blonde hair, a petite heart-shaped face and small nose that I would pay for, and a slim figure. You are blessed. Trust me when I saw this x<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10179503019314455529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1992348184589936427.post-35945166606569271862013-10-17T15:27:22.760+11:002013-10-17T15:27:22.760+11:00Thanks, Emma! That means a lot to me xThanks, Emma! That means a lot to me xStephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13568028639195980141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1992348184589936427.post-68552401206871933592013-10-17T14:55:21.488+11:002013-10-17T14:55:21.488+11:00A really brave post well done! I think this is a c...A really brave post well done! I think this is a common misconception about most bloggers, often I'm thought the same of because I blog about positivity! I hope blogging has helped with your issues, though it isn't easy to love yourself, but it's very important! XAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18266143191849507640noreply@blogger.com